Draining my bank account: Alaska State Fair edition

Well, it’s that time of year again. The Alaska State Fair is in full swing, and being the die-hard fair goer that I am (see here for prior coverage), it wasn’t a question of if, but when. Saturday, August 27 was the day, and along with 50,000 or so of my fellow Alaskans (oh all right, I did see a car with a license plate from Canada in fair traffic) packed it up and drove the miles to stand in lines, spend too much (honestly, a corn dog for $8!?), and eat too much (see aforementioned corn dog plus other things I would rather forget).

So maybe I’m exaggerating about the number of attendees last Saturday, but it felt very packed. I noticed an unusual amount of people using carts, crutches, and canes to get around, and finally realized, with my usual quick wit, that it must be Family Day at the fair. No, that’s really a Day there, and kids get in free. Maybe Seniors, too, cuz old folks were everywhere! I would have invited my grandma, but she is about 2,000 miles away and spent her Saturday watching a tractor parade. Oh la la.

I tell you what, when I’m my grandparents age, there won’t be a single soul on Earth that can convince me to march, mingle, and get mashed on the hard pavement amongst the green-haired kiddies, strollers running over my feet, and smell of grease. I will sit on a bench and eat a turkey leg (that booth always has a long line when I walk by hungry) and holler at my grandkids instead. I can’t wait.

We got up early on Saturday, and after a few well deserved hints to the kids to get moving, pack up their raincoats, and use the toilet, we departed only an hour behind schedule. But about 300 cars behind schedule, too. The traffic past the Wasilla/Palmer freeway turnoff was not quite horrendous but well past dreadful.

We groaned and griped all the way through the back end of Palmer (look kids, potatoes!) until we parked the car and turned off the engine. After a reminder that I wasn’t going to carry the “backpack of necessities” the whole time like last year, like some sad Sherpa for my lazy kids, we entered the gates…after standing in line for a very long time to get to those gates. No really, it gets fun now.

So where was I? Oh yeah. All my fellow Alaskans (and Canadians) at the fair. It was sunny, so my pictures are nothing special, but the flowers at the fair always put other public displays around Alaska to shame. Honestly, why doesn’t Anchorage hire the gal that designs all this? Everything from matchy, matchy to humorous to sublime.

I note the walled perennial garden is still aptly called “Perennial Garden” and am shocked it hasn’t been named after some politician or corporate sponsor. Our Alaskan legislators aren’t fixing our dreadful budget mess, so I’m sure they’ll have plenty of time to debate names for it this next session. I suggest christening it the “Beat it kids, I’m trying to take a siesta” Garden. Must be over 30 to enter.

Some highlights:

1. PowerHouse percussive dance routine. Holy smokes, that kid, “Pee Wee,” can dance! Don’t miss all the clogging, tapping, and stomping. It’s free, which is nice because you already have to choose between a semester of college and that cheeseburger.

2. The gardens. The beehive and the quilt (pics above) were some of my faves. For some reason, the giant vegetables didn’t really thrill me this year. Meh.

3. The chick incubator tub. Don’t pick up the chicks! And I included my kids in that admonition. We already have 3 chickens at home, which is probably 3 too many.

4. The food. Ok, some of the food. A long line doesn’t necessarily mean the food is worth it. It just may mean your kid is screaming and you want to plug that hole with the nearest (fill in the blank food).

Some lowlights:

1. Traffic. Every year I say I’m going to pony up the cash and take the train. Future self: take the train!!

2. Not enough places to sit. They have been making improvements, but after 5 hours of pounding the blacktop, we need more places to park our sorry, tired selves.

3. The prices. I spent $100 on tickets: not to the opera, internationally known band, or all day waterpark venue, but for four rides for 4 kids, plus some games and food tickets we didn’t really want that came with the package. What a racket!

It’s 6 tickets for most of the big kid/adult rides, which is way, way up from the 2 or 3 tickets from my Pleistocene childhood, but still, I ask you, 6 tickets? The $8 corn dog is indefensible, but I did buy and eat it, so what does that say about me?

4. Not enough cute baby animals in the livestock area. Fooey. All right, all right, the little goats were cute.

So get up early, pack the hand sanitizer and sunscreen/raincoat (look out the window first to pick which), and head out to Palmer. The Fair runs until September 5. Don’t forget to cash out that 401(k) first if you want to eat.

 

Outrageous prices? Fairs you won’t do without? What’s your report on the fair in your neck of the woods?

Civic Pride: Town Square edition

Recently my out-of-state relatives were in Anchorage enjoying the warm weather, and possibly my company, but this is debatable. One of the things that non-Alaskans seem interested, nay, obsessed about are the plethora of giant things around here. I include bears, political egos, and vegetables in this category. So naturally I took the opportunity to show off our city-maintained plantings in Town Square (544 W. 5th Avenue) which usually feature giant kale or obese cabbages. That is if the homeless don’t get them first.

(True story sidebar: My sister, in a previous life, worked in the Town Square gardens, planting, weeding, and watering for our city. She said, besides being threatened by the occasional bum, she found used drug needles, human excrement, and once, a copulating couple in the plantings. Replacing the kale or cabbage due to human poaching was both expected and planned. If they ran out of spare cabbages, they just replaced them with something else. Gotta love downtown, eh?)

Civic pride seems strong downtown (just step over those drug needles, would you?) but lessens with each step southward, and by the time you hit 15th Avenue and head down Minnesota past the “flower picture” in the hill you’ve pretty much seen the last of it, with a few exceptions. So take this review as the somewhat jealous observations of a resident of south (unbeautified on the public dime) Anchorage.

Town Square is the hub of the floral explosion and it radiates out from there. There is a fountain in the middle of the square and if one can but avoid the skate boarders, panhandlers, and idiots stopping suddenly to take photos (oh, wait, that was me….), it is a lovely place for snapping a picture, consulting a map, or checking to see if you still have all your shopping bags/children. Each bed seems to have a color theme of it’s own. This year I noticed a yellow theme, white theme, pink theme, dark red theme, and rounding them all out, a dahlia bed with no color theme I could discern.

Now some pictures of the dahlia border. My legal team tells me I must disclose the fact that I have two dahlias in my own garden. They encourage me to state this means I am neither a “hater” nor a “dahlia nut.” Their words, not mine.

OK, enough of the Town Square dahlias. For additional flower sightings, head to the visitor information log cabin. If you aren’t sure which log cabin it is, it’s the one with the sod roof, and this summer, the sod is crispy. So head north from Town Square until you find a shack with dead grass on the roof and you’re there (546 W. 4th Avenue).

For those visitors inclined to censure, I feel I must mention the reason we have hanging baskets of blue lobelia with a white eye and yellow marigolds every year without fail: they are the colors of our state flag. “Eight stars of gold on a field of blue….” Thus begins our state flag song. Does this excuse rampant marigold and lobelia use? The jury is still out.

There were still some intact cabbages as of this writing, so gather the kinsfolk and head downtown. Just find Town Square and you and yours will get an eye full, and see a lot of flowers, too. If the cabbages run out, you’ll have to wait until the Alaska State Fair starts on August 22nd. See my coverage of that here.

 

How do you show off your area to visitors?

PSA: Contaminated manure or compost?

In case Alaskans were feeling lazy with all the (extremely belated) beautiful weather, this hot tip will keep us on our toes. The Operations Manager at Anchorage Soil and Water Conservation District, Mr. Ryan Stencel, cautions us:

“As we finally get into spring, be careful on your source of manure or compost for your garden-there are several confirmed contaminations statewide, including here in Anchorage. Be sure your supplier doesn’t use Aminopyralid/Clopyralid…. And for those using these products, please follow the label carefully, including not allowing any contaminated products to leave your property (hay, manure, compost, or dirt).”

He was kind enough to include a link to an article in the paper that will (to use the lingo of my kids) freak out every gardener in the Greatland. Check it out, if you dare. And scrutinize the provenance of that compost. Your taters will thank you.

Now back to your gardens!

Tips for attending the downtown Fur Rondy events

I know what you’re thinking. This tip sheet would have been a lot more helpful a couple of days ago. Well, now you plenty of time to plan for next year. It is Fur Rendezvous time in Anchorage and that means lots of events all over town for a couple of weeks. If a previous downtown Rondy experience left you disenchanted or you have never gone, you’ve come to the right place. Read on!

1. It is always, always cold at Fur Rondy. Somewhere between 0 and 20 Fahrenheit. Plan accordingly. And for new Alaskans, “accordingly” does not mean a hoodie, jeans, and cheap fleece gloves. I’ll spell it out for the sake of the kids: snowsuit or snowpants and warm coat, hat, gloves or mittens (see number 4), warm snow boots. Optional: neck gator, scarf, snow skirt, warm non-cotton socks, long underwear, sunglasses.

2. There is always a cold wind downtown for the parade and dogsled race. I promise. Sometimes the wind is very bad (2012) and sometimes it merely makes things a little colder (see number one). If we ever get a Chinook (warm wind) for Rondy, I promise to turn to dust.

3. Please leave your dog at home whilst attending the World Championship Sled Dog race. It says that right in the official Rondy brochure, page 48, under the “Be a Good Spectator” section, and I quote “Your pet dog will not enjoy watching sled dog racing events. A fast moving team will frighten most dogs. They are also a distraction to the racing or training dog team. Do not bring your family pets to dog mushing events.”

I am seeing more and more people bringing dogs to this event, so the Rondy organizers may want to promote this tidbit more prominently than a burial on page 48. I happened to be on hand for an instance today (2013) when the dog athletes got distracted by dog couch potatoes, and it was dramatic. Check out the pictures below for a team that decided to go off the trail and visit a dog that was barking at them. The quick thinking by the trail monitor in yellow saved this musher some time sorting things out by himself. The purse for this race is $70,000, so you can imagine that the sprint dog mushers dearly want to take home a piece of that pie.

4. If you are bringing young children who are not walking themselves around the festivities, bundle, bundle, bundle. Those fleece gloves from Old Navy are not going to cut it with the stationary set. If the kids are strapped to your chest, riding a sled, carried, or in a stroller they will be colder than you. You are walking around working up a sweat, they are motionless, getting cold.

Alaska is “mind your own business” country, but I did break this old adage a few years ago when, milling about the dog race spectators, I spotted a very young infant with exposed hands. The (who I assumed to be) parents were facing away from the child in an infant seat stroller, quietly wailing in the frigid temperatures. I tucked a blanket over the kid and told (who I assumed to be grandma) that the baby looked cold. She stepped in and took charge of the underdressed baby.

Unfortunately, I see cold children every year at Rondy. Here’s a lifelong Alaskan’s take: if you can only invest in one really nice outerwear item for your kids and everything else has to be cheap, let your investment be gloves, or even better for young children, mittens. (Knit gloves or mittens just don’t count, except maybe as something to wear inside the “real” mittens.) If their hands are cold, especially young kids and infants that haven’t figured out pockets or speech in complete sentences, they will be suffering from the cold and you will be miserable trying to placate their crying. You can quote me.

5. Watch the dog races from Cordova Street. That is the best kept secret around. Milling around 4th and D Street to watch the start is fun if you are tall like me. If you are petite or a child, heaven help you if you show up after the race starts and expect to see anything. It is really crowded at the start. Just walk down the street ‘til you hit Cordova and turn south. There! You have a whole street to yourself. The kids will love it, and will actually see something. You’re welcome.

6. Plan ahead. Downtown is pretty much a nightmare for driving on the Saturday of the race and parade, so leave early, pack light, and park far away. I took my own advice and parked on 15th Avenue this year. That might be taking things a little too far, but I got a great walk out of it and didn’t have to battle road closures, police cruisers everywhere, and confused traffic patterns.

7. If you brought kids, bring a backpack or bag. In mine this year: an extra set of gloves for all, a scarf, and some snacks and water for the kids. Sometimes I put in hand warming packets if it’s a particularly cold year or a particularly whiny child.

8. The parade is about a 1/2 hour. Why this fact is not more publicized, I’ll never know. And while normally I don’t advocate spending lots of time in shopping malls whilst clad in full winter gear, after the parade is over, duck into the 5th Avenue Mall to warm up. Another plus, the mall has a bathroom and your kid has to go. You can hang out until the dog races start around noon or until you can’t stand the kids begging for another pretzel with cheese.

9. If you have young kids and watched the parade and dog race, do yourself a favor and save the carnival and snow carving competition for another day. They are ongoing every day for all of Fur Rendezvous (this year February 22-March 3). If you do not choose to heed this warning, I will not be responsible for the adult and/or child meltdowns that occur.

These tips are guaranteed to cut down on the whining and increase desire to return next year and do it all again. Which is good, because what else is there to do at the end of February in Alaska? Go Rondy!

 

Been to Fur Rondy? Have a tip of your own?