Monday, February 7, 2011

Recovering from the flu? Don’t try this.

Only a dope would try strenuous exercise while recovering from semi truck crud/swine flu/or numerous other seasonal ailments.  For long-time readers (my family, plus Lucy), that statement almost guarantees a subsequent item I really shouldn’t have done.  This is no exception.

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I blame it all on peer pressure.  The problem here is I have these friends see, these exercising friends.  (Watch out for this lot.  They now have me eating carrots and grapefruit for snacks, instead of my preferred chips.)  They don’t “hit the gym”, they exercise outside.  Being lost in a snow drift, stomped by a moose, or run over by a motorist doesn’t deter them.  If I didn’t like them so well, I’d look into having them committed, poor things.  Just what did they force me to do, you’re wondering?

On a whim, last year I bought some skate ski equipment at a swap meet.  (Someday I’d like to write about shopping at a winter swap meet and compare it to running with the bulls or riding a scooter on an LA freeway, but today is not the day.)  Eyeing it ruefully afterwards, I thought that probably meant I should do some skate skiing.  One problem: I didn’t have the book, “Skate Skiing for Dummies” or even a smallish idea of technique.  Never fear, the exercising friends are here.

So I went a handful of times last winter and survived.  There were some undignified falls, yes, and a few instances when hasty prayers were uttered along the lines of ‘please let me not have a heart attack’ or ‘just let me not hit a moose at the bottom of this hill’ but mostly I was thinking “This would be fun if I was in shape.” 

They convinced me (more like forced me) into going on Thursday.  My flu was winding down, but that was no excuse for not elevating my heart rate to maximum, breathing cold air, and sweating like the proverbial pig for an hour.  Everyone needs such friends, no?

It’s over and obviously I’m here to tap out the sad tale, so no tragedy, but my humble advice for those recovering from illness, stay away from those bullies.  No, not the wee tykes smoking during lunch behind Service high school, mucking up the ski trails, and looming menacingly in large groups out of the forest at passing skiers.  The exercisers.

Anyone have a bad experience exercising?  Taking in the great outdoors gone wrong?


  1. OMG. I was laughing like crazy and I KNOW the type of which you speak. I have a few in my life. I have been converted a few times, even 'forcing' my exercise and diet philosophies on others, but noticed I said a few times. No willpower. Then of course I look like a hypocrite to the other friends I was 'forcing'. So much better to be happy I feel.

    And your flu, I feel your pain, just got over it myself, and I made sure not to go shovel the driveway this week. Just let my Jeep do its thing of mountain climbing. Just made a tiny path for the mailman in case you thought I might be inconsiderate to our postal workers.

    Such a funny post. I am still in stiches.

  2. This is a timely post as I am in the middle of a severe head cold/sinus infection. I was just wondering if I should go do Zumba tonight. No, not a chance.

  3. Can't say I've ever been conned while sick but I've had THOSE friends before. Lured me with the proverbial carrot - if you climb this mountain with us we'll have beer at the top. The beer was not worth it.

  4. I love downhill skiing. Anything cross country? No effing way.

  5. I have never been coerced into exercising but, of my own will, I did try down-hill skiing. I went for two lessons - during which I managed to be dragged up the hill while half off the ski lift and come down backwards, bottom first, hanging onto my ankles.

    I don't think skiing is my sport.

    I don't think sport is my thing.

    Hope you are properly better soon.


  6. As always, your post made me love really hard. I often feel as though everyone around me is part of that collective of "Exercisers". Between being entreated to PLEASE start doing Yoga - "It is for your own health" - and being effectively told that if I was going to have my eggs with the yolks I might as well take arsenic, I am often made to feel that most of what I do or do not do is deeply self-destructive. Also, note that none of the wonderful people telling me these things are older than 24!

  7. Dear Christine, I laughed until my sides ached at this post. And that is all the exercise I plan on getting today. I avoid those people like the plague! I hope you are fully recovered. P x

  8. Hello all,

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one bullied, Perhaps I need to learn to say no, that or get in shape and enjoy the exercise.

    Kyna and Esther M.,

    Am thinking of downhill skiing again, why not let gravity do something useful. (I don't count the developing jowls on my face as a useful thing gravity has done for me). Or maybe I need to start yoga again to work on my balance first.... As for the egg yolks, College Gardener, well I have to die of something, I suppose.


  9. I live with one of those. I just roll over and go to sleep when he gets up at 4:30 for a swim and obsesses because he did not get to the gym today at lunch.

    Also you a forced to be trim by guilt so I guess that is a benefit.

  10. Well I'm glad you survived Christine. You are such a witty, engaging writer. Serious talent, there girl. Even if you do feel like truck crud. :)

  11. Christine, I hope you are feeling better. This brought back memories of a cross-country skiing trip about 30 years ago with friends who were all much more experienced skiers than I was. Two of them insisted that we should take a "more interesting" (read: steep, narrow, lots of trees, along a stream) trail even though it had been re-routed, and I was in tears by the time I finally got to the bottom. Later, one of them said, "C'mon, Jean, in retrospect, it wasn't that bad, was it?" to which I replied in my most ominous warning tone, "This isn't retrospect enough!" -Jean

  12. Dear Christine, please do not ever introduce me to your friends...thank you for a wonderful post...have a great relaxing? weekend...

  13. Oh no..I am afraid I have seen alot of myself in this story... as the exerciser.

    My aplogies to all of those I have poked and prodded along the way..

  14. Your skate skis sound like a really good deal. I've been wanting them for years. Your friends sound cool even if they did drag you outside when you were sick :) Hope you feel better now.


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